Paulina Porizkova is getting candid about her marriage to Ric Ocasek.
The supermodel recently spoke to Amanda de Cadenet on her podcast “The Conversations with Amanda de Cadenet,” during which she alleged that the late Cars frontman controlled much of her life when they were together.
“He didn’t want me to do anything,” the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit veteran alleged, as quoted by Yahoo! Life on Tuesday. “He didn’t want me to go anywhere. He wanted me to be within his circles at all times. I was his sole emotional provider for everything, and I confused that with love.”
According to the outlet, their marriage began when she was 24 and he 45. The 56-year-old also claimed to the host that during their union, she felt more like a “treasured possession” than a person with the rocker.
“It was a collective thing that just stuck with me forever, and I still feel that way, which, of course, is remarkable then that me, [a] self-proclaimed feminist, goes and marries a guy who tells her how to dress,” she alleged.
Ocasek died in 2019 from heart disease worsened by emphysema. They shared two sons. Porizkova announced the couple’s separation the previous year.
The star admitted in the podcast she was devastated to learn after his death that Ocasek had cut her out of his will.
“It’s a betrayal,” she said, as quoted by the outlet. “It’s a betrayal of my trust and my love and everything I put into him for years and years and years. And I have no way of knowing what possessed him to do this.”
Earlier this month, Porizkova told StyleLikeU’s Defying Ageism video series that she struggled with depression, anxiety and anger following Ocasek’s death. She spent most of her days crying while going through menopause.
“To me, my menopause is tied into the grief over my husband,” she said. “I felt like somebody just peeled my skin off. Like this process of grieving and heartbreak and betrayal, it stripped me of my Paulina skin, the one that I used to know, the one that used to protect me. I don’t have anything that protects me anymore.”
Today, Porizkova said she is still a work in progress but is hopeful about what the future holds for her.
“As much as I embrace this body, and as much as I’m proud of who I am, I’m also broken,” she said. “And I’m assembling myself. So it’s not the greatest place to be yet. It will be, though. It will be pretty freaking awesome.”