Maher kicked off the monologue by highlighting remarks Fox News’ Dana Perino made earlier this month, suggesting that Democrats recruit the HBO star to run for president because of his refusal to alienate Trump voters.
“Now, some people think this means I’ve changed. I assure you, I have not. I am still the same unmarried, childless, pot-smoking libertine I always was,” Maher told his audience. “Let’s get this straight. It’s not me who’s changed, it’s the left who is now made up of a small contingent who’ve gone mental and a large contingent who refuse to call them out for it, but I will.”
“That’s why I’m a hero at Fox these days, which shows just how much liberals have their head up their a– because if they really thought about it, they would have made me a hero on their media,” Maher said. “But that can’t happen in this ridiculous new era of mind-numbing partisanship, where if I keep it real about the nonsense in the Democratic Party, it makes me an instant hero to Republicans.”
“I’m a hero at Fox these days, which shows just how much liberals have their head up their a–.”
The liberal comedian insisted the “same thing” has happened to “Darth Vader’s daughter,” U.S. Rep. Liz Cheney, R-Wyo., who has become a hero to the left for being an outspoken critic of former President Trump over his unsubstantiated claims about the 2020 presidential election being stolen.
“What a sad commentary on our politics. We’re simply acknowledging reality is now seen as a profile in courage,” Maher said. “People sometimes say to me, ‘You know, you didn’t use to make fun of the left as much.’ Yeah, because they didn’t give me so much to work with. The oath of office I took was to comedy. And if you do goofy s—, wherever you are in the spectrum, I’m going to make fun of you because that’s where the gold is. And the fact that they are laughing at it should tell you something- it rings true.”
“If you do goofy s—, wherever you are in the spectrum, I’m going to make fun of you because that’s where the gold is.”
Maher then began listing issues plaguing the left, like how San Francisco has become “a shoplifter’s paradise,” which he said is leading people to believe “Democrats have gone nuts,” and how members of the far-left “Squad,” like Reps. Ayanna Pressley, Rashida Tlaib and Jamaal Bowman, have been calling to “cancel” rent and mortgage, “no more policing, incarceration” and declaring “capitalism is slavery.”
“It’s not my fault that the party of FDR and JFK is turning into the party of LOL and WTF,” Maher quipped. “Canceling Lincoln and Dr. Seuss, teaching children they’re oppressors and math is racist, making Mr. Potato Head gender-neutral and now an emoji for pregnant men. … California just passed a law requiring large retailers to have a non-gendered toy section. … We need a law for that? Do you have to inject yourselves into everything?”
“It’s not my fault that the party of FDR and JFK is turning into the party of LOL and WTF.”
WARNING: GRAPHIC LANGUAGE
“This is why so many people, by the way, were triggered by COVID policies. They were already sick of rules,” Maher said. “Regulation should be a good issue for Democrats. It’s certainly one they’re associated with. And I think the average voter would agree that banks, chemical plants and drug companies need watching … but Democrats have become a parody of themselves just making rules to make rules because it makes you feel like you’re a better person. Making sure that everything bad never happens again, which you can never fully do. It just makes everyone else’s life a drag.”
“California just passed a law requiring large retailers to have a non-gendered toy section. … We need a law for that? Do you have to inject yourselves into everything?”
Maher took a swipe at President Biden’s infrastructure bill, which requires all new cars to have an alert system installed that goes off if a baby is left in the backseat, something he insisted is done “only by crackheads” and people who “do it on purpose.”
“And after every one of us winds up bearing the cost for cars to install this alarm, you know who’s going to ignore it? Crackheads are the people who do it on purpose,” Maher said, to audience applause.
“Democrats no longer possess the common sense to understand that not every problem in the world can be fixed with a regulation.”
“A sensor light is not going to fix this problem and Democrats no longer possess the common sense to understand that not every problem in the world can be fixed with a regulation. But don’t tell that to the advocacy groups who also want every future car in America to only start when the driver blows into a breathalyzer. Oh great, my other car is a Karen. You know, it’s also not safe to drive when you’re crying. Should we make a car that follows your texts and stops the engine when you’re dumped?”
“Democrats have to stop thinking that what the voters dream about is to be hassled,” Maher added.