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So the Rittenhouse trial might have lasted a few weeks, but like Brian Stelter’s hair, the fallout was immediate. Which is good for shows like mine, because I can just press cruise control and let the morons speak for themselves. Seriously, this script could’ve been written by the producers of “Full House,” only the show would have been called “Full of S***.”
Various clips from anchors and TV pundits: Kyle Rittenhouse was just 17 years old when he drove across state lines// he is driving across state lines // he crosses state lines // he crosses the state line // across state lines // Who crossed state lines // Came across state lines // This guy came over state lines // Provocatively drove across state lines
Gee, it almost makes you wonder that they want you to think he drove across state lines. It’s amazing — one simple fact can be distorted, and no producer has taken the time to correct it. They’re too busy trying to adjust the meds for Joy Reid, and spotting Chris Cuomo on his bench.
Meanwhile, Eric Swalwell didn’t drive across state lines, but what did the fabricating fartbag do with state secrets when he did the bang bang with Fang Fang. That whole story stinks to high heaven, partly because Swalwell just had cabbage for dinner.
But of course, Kyle Rittenhouse did not take a gun across state lines. You’d think a party that has a reputation of stealing elections would know where state lines are drawn. But good liars know that correcting a lie makes people stop trusting you. And the lies now come from everywhere.
Jalen Rose on ESPN, Friday: Here is the thing – the Black Lives Matter protest was actually taking place because Jacob Blake was shot and killed by police officers
No — that didn’t happen. But there’s nobody better to go to for honest news than a former point guard from the NBA. That’s like you asking me how to dunk a basketball. But if you spout political nonsense like that, you might get banned on Twitter and Facebook. But here, they get a shoe contract from Nike.
All sorts of vacuous celebs weighing in with naive tweets. Here’s Reese Witherspoon repeating the same inaccuracies. They all love a good script, whether it’s from a writer or a pharmacist.
You have politicians like capital fat pants, Jerrold Nadler, calling on the DOJ to review the verdict. Walking corpse Bill de Blasio fans the flames in his own city with a criminally insane tweet. I guess when folks are worse-off under your policies, sewing racial division is the best distraction.
Then there’s the hypothetical question: “What if Rittenhouse were Black?”
Cuomo: You know you’re gonna have people saying if he were Black this would be different right, because we’re dealing with systemic injustice right now//Cuomo guest: He has a privilege of whiteness. Please understand that if Kyle Rittenhouse was Black, today’s outcome would be different // Sharpton: If a Black person had got an AR 15 and went to a city where someone was being harmed. If we’d gone to Brunswick Georgia with an AR 15 and said I’m gonna protect all young Black joggers and ended up killing 2 people, we would have gone to jail
Their best argument that Rittenhouse should’ve been convicted is speculation about a hypothetical event that didn’t happen. Their implication: those who defend a White Rittenhouse wouldn’t defend a Black version of Rittenhouse. It’s mind reading and it’s stupid.
A Black man, Andrew Coffee IV, was acquitted of attempted murder charges last week after 12 jurors found he had reason to believe he was being attacked during a SWAT team raid. And there is no mass outrage from conservatives over that. Because as long as you view this through the prism of self-defense, there is no racial angle.
With Kyle, all the attackers were White. And actual white supremacists rarely support an unjustified shooting of White people. And if Rittenhouse were Black, those defending Rittenhouse, would not only defend him, they’d elect him to office.
But the people who bring up this so-called Black Rittenhouse would smear him if he indeed existed. Black Rittenhouse would now be the face of White supremacy. Just like Larry Elder, who is Black. Remember — a White person in a gorilla mask attacked him and the media barely noticed.
There was Condoleezza Rice; and then Winsome Sears, who posed with a gun and is Black, but is a White supremacist for being elected as a Republican. Nothing says you have a grip on the race issue like calling Black people “White.” They’re as confused as a guy in ass-less leather chaps at a sports bar. Boy, was I embarrassed.
But that’s what happens when you rely on one prism to look at life. Race — it takes all real thinking off the table. I mean, if Kyle Rittenhouse were Black, it wouldn’t be you who disown him. It would be the left, because they’re operating solely on lines of race, and race must adhere to a specific ideology. The meltdowns get worse.
Tiffany Cross: I find these people disgusting, Elie, I’m disgusted at what I’m seeing // it’s not just this trial, it’s other trials, but this in particular. // The fact that White supremacists roam the halls of congress freely and celebrate this little murderous White supremacist // Joy Reid: This country was built on the idea that White men have a particular kind of freedom and a particular kind of citizenship that only they have that gives you know from the slave catchers on the right to inflict violence // Elie Mystal: There is a pall of permissiveness of White violence
I’d send a social worker to check on them but maybe medicine is racist too. Of course, CNN reports there’s nothing more frightening in America than an angry White man. The writer, a racist, states, “a vision of white masculinity… Allows some white men to feel as if they can rule and brutalize without consequence.” So does that vision include the white guys who were trying to kill Rittenhouse? Doubt it.
But if that’s true, why do they still have White men working and running CNN? Shouldn’t they step down—those racists? Meanwhile, a Virginia university chemistry department says the Rittenhouse acquittal hampers the progress of science. I guess, it could — if someone tries to defend themselves from attackers with a Bunsen burner.
But the people who Rittenhouse killed in self-defense — how did that hurt science? Were they trying to split heads or atoms? A university in Massachusetts hosted segregated processing spaces after the verdict. Because to solve their deliberate racial division — is more racial division. It’s not just for their admissions standards.
You see how one filter creates this idiocy — race. How long before we see a math problem on a test that asks “how many times do ten white supremacists go into fifty Black peaceful protests?” And it can never be done in reverse.
I wonder what the angry White male has to say.
Tom Shillue: Sorry I didn’t hear the question. I’ve had these earplugs in for three days so I wouldn’t lose my sanity. These babies work.
How does the angry Black male feel?
A skit of Tyrus being interrogated for a crime and him blaming it on White supremacy
So we know why this is happening. We see how life works effectively through filters on incentives, reciprocity, responsibility, self-defense, and family. Like a good wedding photographer or a good porn director, we can view every issue from different angles. But if all you see is race — then you can’t see anything else coming.
All you see is just what’s fuming in your narrative-corrupted brain. Which is why MCNBC and others are melting like a popsicle being eaten in a tanning bed.
This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the November 22, 2021 edition of “Gutfeld!”